I am frozen over like the Lake of Avalon in the longest winter in history. Like I will never be able to move again. Like all my dreams are deep under ice with nowhere to go, and no possibility of coming true. Blue dreams for a broken heart spun in the throes of bereavement, growing cold from loosing too much time. Your face, your smile, the light in your eyes, etched in the glaciers of my love. There I can go to see you again. Purple kisses from my lips upon your visage. I wrap my arms around the iceberg to finish the journey of becoming utterly still. Your memory, the only part of you now here, frozen in time, sinks like an anvil to the bottom of my heart where love has no limits, as if to tether us together in a vision before all my love is buried under snow. I could not keep you small in the limits of my pain, for your joy deserves no bounds. I will see you running in my dreams with a wide smile and a wild heart beating as fast as your feet. And when I have grieved enough, and my waters flow once more, every tear I once shed for you will revive the lake where magic itself resides. Pictures of you on melting ice inform the water. And I make a wish then and there: You will feel my love when it rains, and you are washed clean of any pain of our parting. You will always be loved beyond measure in a place where you can flourish as the wonder you are. And when the grief is finished with the great work of proving that I loved, my blue dreams will turn red and mend my broken heart turning it pink and gold and rose for the end of mourning. There I will find my heart has grown bigger all the while from all of my love for you. ©2022, Sheya Forest Author's Note: I wrote this as a goodbye letter to a puppy I had to re-home. I was too disabled to take care of her the way she deserved, and was getting injured in doing everything I could to make sure she was happy. She loved me, I'm sure, but was having to restrain some of her joy because of my own low energy. Now she has 5 acres to roam free with another canine friend, and an able bodied woman with ample energy to play with her and make sure she has every good thing, especially the freedom to be as happy and energetic as she is as often as she likes.
Art: Blue Dream, Mixed Media on Paper, by Elsa Santos.